No Seriously...Don't Hit the Wall!

The wall is well known to marathoners.  If they haven't experienced it themselves they certainly have heard the stories about hitting the wall.  For those that are unfamilar with the wall I'll do my best to explain it.  The wall is obviously not a real wall that you run into but a metaphor for the feeling that overcomes you late in a marathon that makes you feel as though your body can't move forward because it is pushing against a wall.  It comes at different times for different runners and as I mentioned before it may not even come at all to some lucky runners. 

Lately, I've been feeling as though I have hit a wall in my training.  I have been doing well on my runs and I've been feeling really good about the physical aspect of my training.  But there is something different this time around.  Even though I feel good on my runs I don't have as much confidence as I have had in the past in my physical abilities and I'm worried about the strength of my will power to complete a challenge.  And no matter how positive the support system around me is, I just can't seem to shake this feeling of impending failure. 

At first I was worried about why I was feeling this way.  Was I not training enough?  Was I obsessing over my speed compared to others?  Then it came to me.  I've never done this on my own before and I'm scared that I won't be strong enough to succeed. 

Since I identified the source of my fear I've been thinking a lot about my Dad and the role he played in completing my last marathon.  While we ran I had him on one side of me encouraging me to continue on a little further and my husband on the other side telling me that I was doing great.  How am I supposed to finish Nashville without either and Canton with only half of the formula that worked so well before?

Running a marathon can be a very emotional experience in itself.  There is a lot of time to reflect on life while training and completing the difficult milestones in the training is the catalyst for a new sense of pride.  But nothing compares to crossing the finish line.  It is amazing, exhilerating and inspiring.  Combining these already strong feelings with doing an activity that inspires memories of my Dad has proven to be one of the most difficult things I've ever taken on.